One of the greatest obstacles to having what you Want is the Wanting itself. Wanting and Having cannot occur at the same time; you will either be in one place or the other.
We often get stuck in Want and fail to depart towards Having. Surely, Wanting can be experienced along the journey and helps to stay the course, yet those that consistently get what they Want are going out and Getting it versus sitting around wishing and hoping.
It goes like this: Get clear about what you Want; develop an intense desire to Have it; then, go Get it!
Life has a way of driving us to or near insanity with all its challenges, considerations and circumstances.
One of the most effective ways I have discovered to manage the craziness of it all to establish and maintain Commitments. You can start with one simple Commitment; I’ve seen people begin with making their bed every morning.
Some Commitments are particularly beneficial when directly related to the issue.
For example, feeling down and melancholy? Commit to a consistent plan of prayer or meditation. It’s a matter of making the Commitments of greater value than the problems that seemingly drive us mad.
We do a lot of talking about what we want to get done.
And, then…nothing get’s done! I’ve heard a cute quote that goes: It is sometimes easier to act your way into better thinking, than it is to think your way into better acting. The catch is to know when to choose that strategy.
Hint? Listen to what you’re saying to yourself and others.
It is also important to be aware of your thoughts, because thought is what precedes action, yet the idea is to get those thoughts aligned with action and take it. Thus, Easier Done Than Said!
Most folks think they’re getting away with how they currently renegotiate agreements with others. The most common method being used is to simply blow off the appointment, commitment, etc.
What ends up happening is the worst kind of damage to a relationship that can occur: Distrust. Is that how you want people to know you?
Think of someone you know that consistently keeps their word. Now, look at how they’re admired and respected by most everyone around them. It seems rare simply because doing what’s right is not often done. Effective Renegotiation means handling conflicts while still making things happen.
I had a student in a Teen Leadership training ask: “Do you get into a lot of fights?” When I inquired why he would ask that, he replied:
“You are bluntly honest with people.”
Fortunately, the answer is that I don’t fight with people. I may not be liked by certain folks that cannot handle honesty, yet if that is the case, I sincerely don’t want to spend much time with them anyway.
We have become consumed with being liked by others. I would rather be real and have my integrity intact, than sell it out by not being honest.
A phenomenal trainer I once worked with explained that Confidence is byproduct of Courage.
Think about the salesman who just closed a deal.
He would be beaming with Confidence.
If the deal was then cancelled, he may likely lose that Confidence. It’s the Courageous salesman that continues to sell that can maintain Confidence.
Look at your life where you are Confident or maybe where you are lacking Confidence and ask: Where’s my Courage in all this?
Think of the inner-joy created when acting with Courage.
It’s easy to lose Confidence, yet can sometimes be even more challenging to maintain Courage.
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, Submission does!
To define Surrender, we must look at times when we have fully given ourselves over to what is right versus what our ego wants.
Submission occurs when we allow feelings and emotions, opinions and interpretations to dictate our actions. Not always a bad thing, yet great consequences can occur when the matter affects our lives or the lives of others.
Plain and simple, you don’t need to Submit to anything, ever again! How to manage this is being aware of your senses when challenged. Listen to the signals from your body, then choose!
Much value, depth and meaning are given to words.
Yet, the greatest Word we can utter is that which defines our integrity.
When we give our Word, we place entire relationships at risk. Many do so without much regard for keeping our Word.
Still, many others are deeply affected when another’s Word is broken.
Little credence is given to the impact of the breakdown.
We can each recall a time when a loved one gave us their Word and the experience of them not keeping it, and worse, not caring much about the potential damage.
What’s in a Word? Everything!
What are you submitting to in your life? Is it your relationship? Is it your job or business? Can you step outside for a moment to see how deadly it is to give your power and choice away to people, places and things?
The alternative is to Surrender to these same exact things while keeping your power and choice. How? Keep asking; far better than answering with anger, defensiveness or explosive reaction.
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. The trick is to develop our own instructions that blend with our experiences and allow us to create what we want.
We are sometimes confronted with powerful experiences that make us stop and think:
What's it going to take?
Whether it's a broken relationship, a lost job or a major health crisis, we will often do everything we can to get through it, yet be perplexed when it happens again.
How can this be? Why me? Again?
We've all heard: "Everything happens for a reason." The problem with that idea is we accept things and do not look for the reason itself.
The reason, in addition to acceptance, is in discovering and learning the lesson and that’s how it serves us.