How Do You Feel?

This is an overly used and often disregarded question.  Do we really care how another is feeling or are we just being nice?  Do we even listen to the response in a compassionate way that indicates to the other that they truly matter?
If we are honestly concerned with how another feels, it will be a good practice to listen and ask additional questions.  One effective way is to add to the initial question, asking:  “How do you feel today?” or “How has your day been so far?”  What this does is brings us to the present and invites further information to be provided.
When given additional data, we can then expand the conversation to create true, authentic connection and show that we are interested in the person’s well-being. It’s a nice feeling when people show this amount of care for us; why not give it back or start the giving?
What do we say when asked this question?  “Fine,” “I’m okay,” or “Great!” are common replies.  Is this a form of avoidance or a nicety?  Let’s say it’s about avoiding.  We may not want to hang out our laundry for everybody, yet do we regularly withhold to folks that can actually help us get through life’s challenges? 
If it’s just being nice, what the bleep is that about?  In essence, we are then only expanding an inauthentic experience for ourselves and those that we come into contact with.  It may be time to put a stop to that nonsense.
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Seen by the Naked Eye

We think we’re so sly.  Our ability to use words to convince and cajole others to do what we want has become a proud feather in the cap.  There’s nothing wrong with having the gift of gab.  To be effective at communicating is an art and skill.  What many of us may not be aware of is that most, greater than 70%, of communication is non-verbal.

So be aware that people often get what we’re up to and if they don’t the question is: Are we being responsible with our words?  That eerie feeling we get when listening (and hearing what they’re not saying) is us being in contact with the non-verbal intention of the other.
It is true that there is more to things that meets the eye.  Our sensory receptors aren’t given enough credit. Some call it intuition and learning to trust those experiences can enhance our ability to give and receive information to a much greater degree.
Communication starts with Intention.  What we desire to say and or get out of our conversations is critical to pay attention to.  To authentically listen, without loading-up or butting-in, is truly a form of giving that can be given each time we are with another.  Providing compassionate feedback to people willing to know how they are Being is also an excellent way to improve relationships.
The most important thing to remember is that while words are a good way to describe what we’re speaking to, it’s in the delivery that the message is most effectively received.  People really do see a lot more than they hear.
Feel free to add your comment or subscribe.  I’d love to hear your thoughts today.  If you haven’t had a chance to read my FREE e-Book: The Bullseye Theory click below.

More great resources are on their way!

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Are you Fierce?

Ferocity is a mindset.  It requires that we be willing to lose.  Simply declaring:  “I will not be defeated,” invites challenge and raises the risk.  Not that we have to fail.  Actually, just by being willing to be defeated, we often overcome the blocks and obstacles to the extent that success comes easier and more often.

We attract support and a natural flow occurs when we act with purpose, diligence and certainty. 

Doing can create movement, yet when coupled with the attitude of being unstoppable, engagement is of greater value and the outcome is virtually always sweeter, win or lose.

Going to the Next Level

We think that Going to the Next Level is something that looks so hard and challenging that we find staying put easier.  In reality, that Next Level is usually small.  Accomplishment and achievement comes when we go to the next Floor up as opposed to the next Step up.

How do we overcome the fear of failure?  One strategy would be to look at the prices we have paid for playing small, thus the Stick.  Another perspective would have us consider the possibility coming alive and real in all its magnificence, thus the Carrot.  Whatever the motivation, it requires Action.

Perfect Vision

When we want something good to happen, we’ve been conditioned to start with How.  That’s a fallacy.  It’s not the How that matters most, it’s the Why.  The compelling idea that has us Committed to taking Action is what will drive us.
The moment we stop is when the Why becomes less important than obstacles and challenges.
Unless we hold our Vision as paramount over anything that would stand in its way, failure or at least great struggle will prevail.  The reason why successful people make life look so easy is because they are absolutely Certain that it will happen.

Killing Me Softly

It’s the pain, resentment and regret.

What would, could or should have been.
It’s the fear, doubt and insecurity.
What was said and what wasn’t.
Thoughts, feelings and memories about the way things turned out.
Whatever is being held onto, clenched and clutched so tightly that nothing can be received.
It’s the disappointment around not having desires fulfilled.
It’s the anger and rage of reaction to the lies.
It’s how powerlessness prevails and nothing can be done except submitting to another’s attempts at control.
When the need to be loved and accepted is not being met.

What’s killing you softly?

Trust Me

Famous last words, right?  It’s when we Allow ourselves to Trust in a true, authentic way that possibilities rapidly manifest.  When we refuse to Trust or hold back even the slightest amount due to Fear, Doubt or Insecurity, things tend to tighten up and become burdensome.
This is not to suggest reckless abandon, letting everything to just happen.
Rather, Allowing can be a deeper awareness that Surrenders as opposed to Submits.
The elements of Allowing are: Faith, Belief and Certainty.  Far more in alignment with what we Want than the alternative.
Trust starts from within and can cause further Trust.

Making a Move

We tend to believe that Action has to do with external elements. Maybe the timing isn’t right, possibly they’re not ready for it right now, if things line up just the way they need to…how many times that kind of nonsense has kept us waiting and hesitating?
Often, anything we do has begun much earlier in our thoughts and feelings.  The reality is that things occur at a deeper level in our cells.  We must be mindful.  There are studies that are confirming that our cells actually have intelligence and take direction from our thoughts, feelings and ways of being. 

Being Real With What Is

Accountability equals being able to account for our actions. We all have tendencies and habits, even addictions that we are aware don’t serve.  Why do we continue on such destructive paths?  We know the outcome will likely turn out bad and we still do it anyway.
The common definition for insanity that:  We keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is actually flawed.
The real truth is: We keep doing the same thing, knowing what will happen, and still choose to do it!  We cannot continue to avoid what is.
It is time to get real!

Time is of the Essence

What do we do with the time we have?  We seemingly spend time without currency or exchange.  At a closer look, we will see the price we pay or the value created.  Does every moment have to be memorable or not?
The essence of time is our choice.
How the experience is valued depends greatly on how we have prepared, engaged and reviewed the events of our lives.  If things just happen are we being truly present?
Not to invalidate spontaneity, though to be spontaneous, we must be in the here and now.
When time truly matters, we fully live.