Avoiding Pain

We tend to believe that Avoiding Pain is in our best interests.  Surely this is a good idea when crossing the street.  This particular discussion is about irresponsibility.  For instance, when we pass the buck or push someone under the bus.
Whenever we don’t keep our word, it is usually about Avoiding some form of Pain and staying in integrity would seemingly cause us greater Pain.  Unfortunately, we break our word to ourselves most often.  Interesting to note is that when we do honor our word, we feel great and the expenditure is almost always worth it in some way

How Do I Look?

We put a LOT of time, effort and investment of resources into Looking Good.  It’s not bad or wrong to take care of one’s appearance, trouble starts when Looking Good comes at the cost of making someone else look Bad.  Sometimes it’s just about the need to look better than everyone else.

When it doesn’t matter how things look, we can free ourselves from the chains of the ego’s need and Surrender to our Greatness.  When we can authentically practice the discipline, we are achieving Mastery, expanding our Enlightenment.  We can become lighter in our Being and have fewer concerns.

The Fight to Be Right

Most of us believe we are intelligent and correct most often.  The need to Be Right has little to do with correctness or fact.  Rather, Being Right is based is interpretation and ego.  We will sacrifice relationships, money, career, faith, health and even country to Be Right.
Would you rather be right or happy?
The ills internal and external in our world are often based in Survival of EgoNeeding to Be Right is one the rules we follow to maintain our Mediocrity and if we really were aware of the damage caused inside and outside ourselves, we’d think twice.

Giving and Receiving Feedback

We all would like to think that we give good feedback. The way to truly give feedback is to have permission and most importantly, to give it from a place of neutrality that doesn’t create defensiveness.  It is interesting to see how difficult that really is.

We also believe we are excellent receivers of feedback. Notice how you receive feedback, exclusive of how it is given and if you are reacting or defending.  The world tells us how we’re showing up, so it’s a good idea to pay attention to the feedback.  It’s all about taking responsibility for our behavior.

Surrender to Win

Surrender has two definitions.  The negative, non-supportive meaning is that we give up, we quit and we are weak.  The positive, beneficial side speaks to allowing life, going with flow and accepting what is, as is.  Another perspective can be “joining the winning team.”
The alternative is Resistance and what happens when we resist is playing it safe, small and filled with scarcity.  That sounds a lot more like the non-beneficial definition for Surrender.  Another way to look at Resistance is to consider it Submission.  The fact is that when we submit to our Fears, Doubts and Insecurities, we lose

Do the Right Thing

Is it really about Doing?  We don’t have a choice in what we do.  Who we are Being precedes any action we could ever take, whether we think so or not.
Given that, are we paying attention to our behavior?  Are we observant of ourselves and others, always looking to learn?  Are we watching what we’re doing?
What is considered “righteous” to one may be “wrong” to another.  It’s allowing the feedback in to see what’s right for us.  Should we remain obstinate, unable to be taught or unwilling to be coached, we have little chance to make anything right.

Question versus Answer

An Answer has only one possibility.  It may be a good idea to have an answer when balancing our checkbooks.  In many matters, we spend inordinate amounts of time and energy seeking the Answer.  Growth appears in the Question and in answering life’s questions; it can also be liberating to not have to know.
Wonder is a great and the curiosity that we see in a child’s eyes is magical.  When and where did we lose that?  It is right there in our hearts if we would only search within rather than outside. Look for infinite possibilities in the Question.

My Bad

What a cheap, sneaky way to avoid responsibility. It is healthy to take ownership for our actions, yet “I’m sorry” or some form of it simply says:  “You can count on me to do it again.”
True, authentic responsibility comes from getting real about facts, admitting our part, then offering to make it right.
In doing so,we are absolved from feelings of shame and have the opportunity to begin anew.
Shame and feelings like it are entirely optional and remain in force when we avoid taking appropriate actions to correct our behavior and most importantly, our state of mind.

What I’ve Decided About Myself

Our mediocrity “story” is centered in what happened.  Psychology 101 can blame our parents or environment, yet it is now time for us to depart victimhood and take responsibility for who we are today.  Awareness of our mediocrity can be liberating.
This is not to invalidate painful experiences in life we have all had, rather it is an attempt to inquire as to what we decided about ourselves as a result.  Next, we confront the decision as to whether it is still true or not.  If so, we must be extremely mindful and vigilant to keep our success on track.

Taking Care of Business

First things first; when our priorities are out of balance, we become unsettled and disharmony reveals itself in our lives. At times, it is difficult to be sure of what’s important now (acronym = W.I.N.) and we often end up giving too much while receiving too little.
T.Harv Eker, author of The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, emphasizes “paying yourself first.”  What this means is that no matter how important people, places or things seem to be, we can only find and create true wealth when we make sure that the position we choose in life is number one.