Most of us are supremely intelligent, or so we’d like to think. This is not about being correct. The need to be right causes conflict and damage in personal, business and political relationships. What happens is that when someone needs to be right, that means someone else must be wrong.
Henry Ford said it best when quoted: “Whether you think you can or think you cannot, you are right.” The greatest power we possess is our mindset. This valuable resource has proven to us time and again what is possible. We don’t even need to look outside of ourselves at impressive accomplishments of others.
Actually, the point is driven home better when we look into our own successes and realize how that inner-strength carried us to victory. When we can naturally rely on this gift, we can move mountains.
Nothing can stop an individual who is certain of their intention.
Reacting tells people that we don’t have control over our emotions. Disciplined responses tell others that we have authentic power, control and command over situations and our credibility skyrockets accordingly. Requiring practice, one important aspect is learning how to read the feedback we receive.
Think of it like contract law.
First there is offer, next comes acceptance or counter-offer. The counter-offer is critical for both parties and the reaction or response is an excellent indicator of how the transaction completes.
Future business is conducted due to the exchange of mutually beneficial considerations.
What kind of power are you generating today?
We practice what we’re going to say, test it with others, look to make alliances in order to reinforce our position then the opportunity comes. Do we always go forth, saying what we mean to? Do we hold back fearing that we might look bad, be wrong or give up even more of our power?
What allows us to concede our serenity to another and worse has us not effectively communicating what is? It is important to check our thoughts and intentions with another we trust, yet there are times when we must simply say what needs to be said.
The hardest thing about consistently showing up is being there when it’s not easy. It’s when we are present for others in a way that cannot possibly be construed as selfish.
The saying that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” is experienced when giving is done in such a way that recipients see themselves as being truly and totally served.
We’ve all heard about the proverbial Story that humans develop about themselves. At the bedrock of our inferiority, determining our mediocrity is one of three conversations. We either: don’t matter, are not worthy or are not (good) enough.
We didn’t get the love, so we don’t matter; didn’t get the attention, so we’re not worthy; or didn’t get the approval, so we’re not (good) enough. We can blame this on Mom and Dad, yet being who we are now, who is truly responsible?
Recognizing our Story, we must be diligently mindful to stop being right about how wrong we are.
Notice the next time you use or hear someone else use this statement. No one can make us feel anything! Our thoughts and feelings are our choice, no one else’s. Don’t think so?
Try reading Viktor Frankl’s
Man’s Search for Meaning to see how he kept his power.
We can easily spot this in others yet how often do we look within? The time to do so is now. Whatever we wish for, desire for others, hope for our world, let’s get off the need to be right.
What we commonly call BS can actually be effective when used responsibly. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have sufficient practice and guidance to recognize how to work it. What transpires is problem. Win/Win Interactions produce Win/Win Transactions, sad news being, in our competitive world, we tend to play Win/Lose.
We can attempt to trot the pony out, see how it runs, being observant, yet we are consistently oblivious to feedback. Somehow, we’ve become conditioned to believe that if we manipulate, coerce and withhold truth, we make things happen. How is that working?
By the way, BS stands for:
Famous football coach Vince Lomardi once said: “It isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about winning.” Victory comes in many forms. The mindset of winning cares little about the scoreboard, yet the score favors the Winner. This is because planning and practice for success is a conquest in and of itself.
Preparing for triumph has the mind, body and spirit declaring win regardless of the outcome. U.S. Olympic gymnast Mary Lou Retton was asked after scoring a perfect 10 in competition:
“When did you know you were a 10?”
Her immediate reply?
“I knew this morning when I woke up.”
In Leadership a common refrain is to celebrate Breakdown because Breakthrough is soon to follow. Completions are similar in that when something is done, space is now available for something new. When we are gripping onto our need for control of people, places and things in our lives, we have no open hands to receive any new possibilities.
Ask how you are opening yourself to allow abundance to come into your life. If you are aware that closures have kept you closed down, it’s time to release the hold, accept what is and step into what’s next. Time to choose!