Facts About Forgiveness

We have been conditioned by our society that forgiveness means letting the other person off the hook for whatever they did.  Given this belief, it makes sense that we wouldn’t be willing to let go of the resentment we have developed towards the other.

Consider this definition for forgiveness:

I am releasing my resentment while not condoning the behavior of the other.
The resentment we hold onto is what kills us, not them.  Wanting to be truly free and healthy, it would be wise to forgive and be clear that forgiveness has little, if anything, to do with the other.

Tell It Like It Is

Notice when we hold back our true, authentic feelings.  There are times when it may be better to remain silent, yet how often do we withhold what is necessary for us and the other to be complete?  What creates further dilemma is that relationships tend to have holes in them when we do not reveal.

This can be majorly impactful when the other person is no longer in our lives and can extend grieving unnecessarily.  Undelivered communication can be a main contributor to our pain and it is pointless.
We all possess courage; say what needs to be said now.

Are You Listening?

We often forget that other important side of communication called listening.  We will “load-up,” meaning that when the other is speaking, we interrupt or jump in before they are done.  This is supremely ineffective, expressing that what is being shared is just not that important.

People have an urgent need to be heard.  It is in the fulfillment of this need that we feel understood and are told by the listener that we matter.  When attention to our concerns is lacking, the fears and doubts about who we are expand.  Authentic listening is giving and receiving at the same time.

The Value Proposition

Notice how some of us seem to stay with something that has little or no meaning?  Is there truly value in mediocrity?  Some people actually seem to be addicted to it.  A great teacher of mine suggested that everything be filtered through:  “Is this serving me?”
This is an excellent inquiry to what we have at question and the answering can be where breakthrough occurs.  When we sincerely see the value in someone or something, magic happens.  A close, personal friend declares:  “Win/Win or no deal!”  This is an effective way to ensure that there is value for all concerned.

What You See is Your Choice

This is not unlike changing the channel on the television.  The stark reality is that what you now have before you is all the result of choices you have made.  If you like what you see, it is imperative to keep it in view.
Should you desire another landscape, it is critical to examine what choices to make in order to cause that new picture.  Also important to consider is what choices you’ve made to get to where you are right now.  A process my clients use is simple self-guided imagery wherein they repetitively create the “masterpiece” for their lives.

Of Course!

Here’s a simple strategy my clients use to create neutrality around what occurs in life.  How it works:  When confronted with a challenge or obstacle, simply declare: Of Course!  Why?  Because it’s likely you’ve been asking for something that the challenge or obstacle is now providing the opportunity for.  I like to add thanks to God.
When the cool stuff happens, once again: Of Course!  This is because you likely planned it that way or had a hand in it coming about.  I also thank God here too.
My belief is to be grateful for ALL of it.
Of Course!

Are You Certain?

Fear, doubt and insecurity will ensure further submission in our lives.  It is when we access our faith, belief and certainty that surrender occurs and the flow of abundance comes into our experience.  It is a constant choice.
Whatever we have or want to have is all determined by choice.  Should we choose to submit to mediocrity, the results will accordingly be revealed.  We might argue it is not what we desire, yet the outcome tells the truth.
It is surrendering to our faith, belief and certainty aligned with our hopes, wishes and desires that creates the life we want.

Balance and Harmony

Balance and Harmony seem to be exclusive of one another, yet I assert their importance as it relates to the domains of our lives.  Balance equals stillness and order which is critical to life.  The value of pausing to meditate, being grateful for or simply planning our lives can make all the difference.

Harmony equals flow and motion, crucial in that we are creatures of action.  The goal is mastery of each domain, finding what beneficial ways of being and beliefs are present in the domains we have mastered and bringing the same to those we have yet to master.

Game On!

The game of life generally has three types of participants:  the Spectator, the Commentator and the Player.  Which one are you?  Of the Player’s in our midst, are you:  Playing to Win, Playing not to Lose, Just Playing or Not Playing at all?
The assessment of this information may require being totally open to honest feedback from an objective observer.
The goal is we want to be the Player, Playing to Win as much as possible.  The unfortunate reality is we may be watching what happens instead of making it happen, or worse, complaining about our lives, getting nothing accomplished.

Transmission or Transportation?

There’s a lot of good information out there.  We have a great desire to share what we learn with others and in doing so, we have the choice, I would assert the responsibility, to provide the knowledge in a manner that is effective.  This gives the recipient the ability to take the data and have it as their own.
Herein lies the distinction:  Are you transmitting information from a place of ownership?  Or are you transporting it, meaning you are simply handing the information over without the full experience of the knowledge?  Transportation is generally held as inauthentic, you choose.