This is one of the most over-used phrases in our society. Unfortunately, it often says to the recipient: “You can count on me to do it again.” We go around writing this blank check day after day without taking any Responsibility for our actions.
We must simply take ownership for what we do and not let ourselves pretend not to know it is wrong. This can be clearly distinguished when defining Guilt and Shame. Being guilty for some action or behavior speaks to the facts. Experiencing shame is about feelings and emotions that cover up the truth.
Most of us go around saying: “I feel bad for…” That’s all about Shame and the reality is that we don’t have feel shame for anything ever again if we don’t want to. The way to this freedom is to be honest, real, contrite and in action about making things right to the satisfaction of the other party. Once this is accomplished, we have made our Amends and there is no need for Shame while the Guilt is now absolved.
If we have been thorough in our attempts to correct past wrongs and the other chooses to still have negative energy about the situation, that’s not about us anymore, it’s about them and their unwillingness to let go. Forgiveness isn’t about letting people get away with their actions it simply means that we release our Resentment.
Let’s listen closely for the “Sorry” and “I feel bad…” talk whether it comes from us or another. We can liberate one another by taking Action and making things new, rather than holding onto the past.
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